Creative success will not fill the hole in your heart

Tara Brach writes in Radical Acceptance, “Even when we are engaged in activities that are meaningful to us, that are creatively and spiritually gratifying, they can be “co-opted” and used to satisfy the unmet needs of the wanting self.”

This resonated with me. In July 2022, I wrote, “When you instrumentalize creativity—that is to say, to make it a resource—you actually squish its true potential.” I’d discussed this in the context of capitalism, but Tara is talking about it in the context of emotional needs. She gives an example:

Sometimes that voice of insecurity and unworthiness arises, and I listen to it. Suddenly writing or preparing a presentation is linked to winning or losing love and respect and my entire experience of working shifts. The wanting self takes over. While I always intend to give a wholehearted effort, now that effort is wrapped in fear. I’m anxiously striving to be “good enough” and to reap the rewards. My love for what I do is clouded over when working becomes a strategy to prove my worth.

It reminds me of a story: Rick Rubin’s music lawyer called him to let him know he had his first number one album. The lawyer asked how Rick felt, and Rick responded, “I’ve never felt worse in my whole life.” Artistic success is not a substitute for an emotional need—a hole that is in your heart.

If you’re going to do great work, it’s certainly worth also investing in your emotional skills and understanding. You’ll work with a sense of creative calmness and clarity; not from a place of needing to constantly prove yourself or your worth, but from a place of saying what you actually want to say.

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